Back in Baltimore...no es bueno

So, my time spent with the School Sisters of St. Francis- Panhandle, was one of extreme peace and beauty. I hadn't been back in Baltimore longer than an hour and I started missing life there. I have NEVER felt this way about any of the other 19 communities I have visited (talked with). It is LOVE.

I am in LOVE with the community
I am in LOVE with LOVE
I am in LOVE with Jesus!!

I talked with the vocations director the night before I left, asking a hypothetical question "If I were to -hypothetically- apply to enter, what would my probability of being accepted be?" This was such a hard conversation to have. After having been through 3 rejections, and so many years of trying to find the right fit---then having a place as far away as Texas turn out to be HOME? It was an overwhelming experience.
Sister stated that I would have to speak with Superior about this issue. WHAT?? I was so nervous talking about this in the first place then to have to have the conversation all over again with the superior? WHOA NOW. Luckily the vocations director asked me if maybe I wanted her to set up the conversation--I said "Yes Please, I would never be able to approach her myself"

The morning of my flight, which was yesterday, SMA the Regional Superior,  herself drove me to the airport. She has a gentle way of asking how I felt, in my heart of hearts...I was a little nervous, and lacking in words, as this feeling of deep devotion and LOVE is so new to me. Our conversation was beautiful and I can't help feeling all warm inside thinking about it. Then Sister stated "You know Crystal, I can't offer you an application, it is your job to ask for one", after which I inhaled then exhaled slowly "May... (another breathe) I have an application, Please?". Sister's reply was " Yes, you may, I'll have SMM (Vocations Director) send one out in the mail to you"----That was a big cloud lifted and I felt as if I were floating on air.

I know that the application doesn't automatically mean acceptance---but I am praying that all goes well, and that Jesus hasn't led me in the wrong direction.

I am sitting in Library class with my students now--my mind and being are here, but my heart and soul are in Panhandle. I have to remember to put my heart into everything in front of me at this very moment, and to BREATHE!

Sidenote: This morning one of my co-workers asked me what I was doing in Texas...I just smiled. Then she asked "Do you have a boyfriend there?", I answered and smiled " Something Like that!"


When I receive the application...you will be sure to know

Smile! Jesus Loves You!